Peace
by lestat ga sukida
Summary: She was betrayed by one she loved. Now she seeks peace. Unoriganal I know. Warnings: Suicide Complete
1. Peace

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or 'Lake of Fire' by Nirvana

She gazed out the window sadly. She didn't belong with her family anymore in the present day and she didn't belong in the past, no matter how much she wanted to.

_I knew a lady from Duluth_

_Bit by a dog with a rabid tooth_

Laughter echoed from downstairs. Tears slipped quietly down marble cheeks. She sobbed silently as memories rushed back to her of the betrayal she had suffered.

_She went to her grave just a little too soon_

_Flew and laid down on the yellow moon_

All because of one woman and her spell she had cast on the one person she thought would never hurt her. How wrong she was to trust a man who couldn't make up his mind about which woman he wanted.

_People cry and people moan _

_Look for a dry place to call their home_

Life was a shattered image of the one she remembered of some other girl having. Silver gleamed beside her. Two months she had rotted, sitting in this window gazing down on people who led their lives merrily in front of her. Flaunting the fact that they were happy and she was just one lonely girl whose life was irreparably broken.

_Try to find some place to rest their bones_

_While the angel and the devils_

_Try to make them their own_

She delicately picked up the dagger. She handled it with practiced ease. Once again, she thought about taking that final step. Her skin was so easily opened. And red did bring back some of her fonder memories. For few moments she could forget the betrayal.

_Where do bad folks go when they die_

_They don't go to heaven where the angels fly_

She didn't remember how the dagger was buried in wrist or how that she ended up dragging the blade up her forearm. Red gushed forth. She remembered bandaging so many of his wounds. How he always complained. But he was long since gone from her life.

_Go to a lake of fire and fry_

_See 'em again till the fourth of July_

She retrieved the dagger from her arm. She felt… colder …than usual. She had more trouble with the other arm. But she managed to get the dagger in that arm also. It felt …. Pleasant. That was as good a term as any. The pleasure almost felt orgasmic. She was cold as she peered out the window. People lived their lives merrily below her. She wished she could join. Be a part of their ranks once more. She smiled a small smile as darkness crept over vision.

_I knew a lady from Duluth_

_Bit by a dog with a rabid tooth_

_She went to her grave just a little too soon_

_Flew and laid down on the yellow moon_


	2. Bereft

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or AFI's 'Silver and Cold.'

Note: It helps if you listen to the song while you read this.

_I came here by day_

_But I left here in darkness_

_And found you on the way_

_Now, it is silver and silent. _

_It is silver and cold_

He stared into the night sky. He knew when she was gone he felt it the moment she had left him and abandoned the Feudal Era. He was torn in two. He knew that he had to make a choice and he hurt the people who had loved him.

_Light, like a flutter of wings_

_Feel your hollow voice rushing into me _

_As you're longing to sing_

_So I will paint you in silver _

_I will wrap you in cold_

He knew that she had loved him. And he had felt it was his right. She was her reincarnation after all. But she was different from her. She had her own special aura and in ways was stronger. But he thought that he would tame and bend her wild spirit to his will. And he had broken her. When he left her, her heart was shattered. For years she had called and sang for him to notice her. And he had just used her and threw her away like a rag doll.

_I will lift up your voice as I sink._

_Cold in life's throws._

_I'll fall asleep for you_

_I only ask you turn away_

_I only ask you turn away as they seep into me,_

_Oh, my, beautiful one_

She had returned to her era with silver tears glistening on marble cheeks that had frozen into a mask of grief. She had turned and stung him with angry last words, even as she slowly sank into the black sea of despair that had threatened to engulf her for months. And she had finally done the one thing that had finally brought her to his attention.

_You, in somber resplendence, I hold_

_Your sins into me_

_Oh, my beautiful one, now_

_Your sins into me_

_As rapturous voice escapes,_

_I will tremble a prayer and beg for forgiveness _

_Your sins into me my beautiful into me_

She was gone forever. Oh he was happy with her. But she was clay and she was alive. Full of warmth. And her presence, her shining light, was gone. There was never going to be one like her again. She brightened everyone's life. She had soothed his inner demon, and he was comforted by her. And she had robbed him of her comfort. Inexplicably, he felt anger fill him.

_You, in somber resplendence, I hold_

_Your sins into me_

_Oh, my beautiful one, now_

_Your sins into me_

_As rapturous voice escapes,_

_I will tremble a prayer and beg for forgiveness _

_Your sins into me my beautiful into me_


	3. Love

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or 'Amour' by Rammstein

Note: The song is in German with a French title. However, you can go to 'Reise, Reise' and click on 'Amour' for the translation.

_Die Liebe ist ein wildes Tier  
Sie atmet dich sie sucht nach dir  
Nistet auf gebrochenen Herzen  
Geht auf Jagd bei Kuss und Kerzen  
Saugt sich fest an deinen Lippen_

Love was a funny thing. It was subtle and yet could be so overwhelming to the person who experienced it. It could be lust or passion; it could be experienced along with hate. It could be aimed at the inanimate, or a living, breathing organism. It was an emotion that refused to be ignored.

_Gräbt sich Gänge durch die Rippen  
Lässt sich fallen weich wie Schnee  
Erst wird es heiß dann kalt am Ende tut es weh_

Love was an emotion that brought pleasure and pain. It was the obsession. It was that thing that crept through your breast and dug a nest. It was the worm that wiggled its way past your defenses and made you _feel._ It nestled in your ribcage and tried to eat your heart and replace it. And it brought ruin upon your head.

_Die Liebe ist ein wildes Tier  
Sie beißt und kratzt und tritt nach mir  
Hält mich mit tausend Armen fest  
Zerrt mich in ihr Liebesnest  
Frißt mich auf mit Haut und Haar  
und würgt mich wieder aus nach Tag und Jahr_

Love was something to be experienced and when it ends…..it brought pain. He had felt the one thing that was unavoidable. Love caused him to be torn in two. Love caused him to break a woman. Love was the parent of hate and fostered hypocrisy in its breast.

_Läßt sich fallen weich wie Schnee  
Erst wird es heiß dann kalt am Ende tut es weh_

Love was physical. It was burning passion and the ice of unrequited. Love was the tide of humanity. He was angry. He loved her. She loved him. But she was not enough. He needed more. He was bound and she was the chains. Her death left him in the dark. Her light was cold comfort. He sought and found love. And he left it. The fool. He knew she could never be everything he wanted her to. But he was bound.

_Die Liebe ist ein wildes Tier  
In die Falle gehst du ihr  
In die Augen starrt sie dir  
Verzaubert wenn ihr Blick dich trifft_

_Bitte bitte gib mir Gift_

He knew when she died. She saw the loss and grief he experienced in that one moment. She was gone. His connection to her forever lost. He was _her_ world. He rejected her. And Love had failed _her._ And Love had provided a requisite reprieve. Love had provided the poison. And Love was a gluttonous snake eating his heart and disemboweling him from the inside out.

_Amour Amour  
Alle wollen nur dich zähmen  
Amour Amour am Ende  
gefangen zwischen deinen Zähnen_

Love was demon that could not be purged. Even Time could not heal the scars and wounds left by love. Love was the justification for living. Love was the bane if existence. So how did she love? If by loving you were alive, was she alive by that definition? No. She was a memory of the woman she once was. And he knew it. And he had turned away his one chance for Love. Love was Master and never freed the slaves of humanity.

_Amour Amour  
Alle wollen nur dich zähmen  
Amour Amour am Ende  
gefangen zwischen deinen Zähnen_


End file.
